Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize