i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
