Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
