One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize