Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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