i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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