I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize