I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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