8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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