don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
