Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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