I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
