Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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