If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
