You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
