I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
