You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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