I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize