i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
