it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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