i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
