operation harelip BJ is a go
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize