DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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