You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
