he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
