Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize