i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
