I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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