God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm always down for nudity.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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