saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
