I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
