how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Operation Purity has been aborted
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
