guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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