just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I am available for nakedness
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I came so hard my ears popped.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
