My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
