to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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