What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
