highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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