well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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