He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
