Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
