I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
