He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
