What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
