so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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