Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
