Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
