Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
