i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize