We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
