i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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