quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
