This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
