She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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