I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
