I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
