i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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