its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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