dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize