im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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