it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Are my feet made of real feet?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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