do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i now understand why vodka
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
