You made me cry and you don't even care
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
