Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
