Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
