he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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