im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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