i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
