My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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