No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
