So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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