i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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