She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize