There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
