we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
